Friday, October 3, 2014

The 13.1 Torture Test...Or my Dumb Idea of a Bucket List Item


Okay I have been hesitant to post lately because of getting ready for my first half marathon
 
 and not having much to do with making beer or riding my bike (who is getting very lonely in my garage and will probably buck me off the first hill I hit on my next ride)


Not me, but you get the point
 
So in the search of knocking off a bucket list item and keeping fit and trim, if keeping fit and trim means I eat the garbage I want and love to drink some nice cold beers, I am in great shape, I am on the final week leading up to my Half Marathon.
Now I am not a really fat man in the average hieght and weight standards of our country, but on the other side I am not a thin man if you stand me next to your standard Marathon runner or Kenyan (which is the same thing, one winning 90% of the races they run in)
In this case I feel like this dude
 
 
But I can run pretty well for a 41 year old Ex smoker who only started this whole running thing after quiting the Smoking habit and blowing up like a wood tick. (yes I did get a bit pudgy)
Again Not me but funny
 
 
So I have worked my way from two tenths of a mile to my greatest run just under ten miles and now 13.1 string me right in my stupid face. I mean stupid because as this is now 48 hours away, I am thinking how fucking stupid are you? Anyway!
In the attempt to run this this, I had put down the bike (although in the initial stages it was a very helpful item see How my bike is helping me train) and concentrate on building mileage for this idiotic endeavor. As I started this pursuit I was running about 3-5 miles a few times a week. I put myself on a program running two to three times a week 3-4 miles, as at least two of these days were at the gym during fuck awful hours of about 5 am I had neither the time (had to get ready for work and did not want to wake up at 3 am, or the patients to run like a hamster in the same place for more than 30-45 minutes. So one day a week I would hit the road to try and extend the mileage, while those days I would try and go shorter and run a bit faster. Then one day a week I would go 5, then 6, then 7 Miles trying to see where I was at. Some days felt great, If I can get out of my head like I do with my Mountain biking, I forget about what I am doing and just run. Other days I look up, think about the miles, think about my running shorts giving me a wedgie, or just the chaffing that goes on running that far. Then the weekend I was supposed to hit the 9 mile mark I got this fucking cold that knocked me on my ass. After a few days of the, to Quote Dennis Leary, Big N small y Big Fucking Q, Claritin and Dayquil. I rebounded did a few short jogs and went out to try and keep my schedule and hit the 10 mile mark. Well fuck if it did not start out well, I was cruising thinking I can accomplish this dumb ass idea of running 13.1. Then around 6 and half miles of hills I freaked I could not get out of my own head I had slowed to a good 11 minute mile and by the time I looked up one more hill around 7.5 miles I fucking quit. Well that sucked. That was one week away from my Half Marathon. So I sit at this moment with a day or so left of some short runs, just to keep my legs going and three days of rest before dragging my ass out of bed to try and run the 13.1. Will I finish, Yes since the company I work for gives me part of my entry fee back for finishing, if I have to crawl across that fucking line I will make it.
 
 
But the goal is to run the first 10 before I walk any (other than water stations you could drown trying to jog with those cups) Once I complete this bastard
What I will feel I look Like
 
What I will actually Look Like
 
 
I have told my wife if I ever come up with a marathon type Bucket list item other than the Bucket of ice cold beer challenge, say “What the hell are you thinking stupid” well I guess the Tour Divide is not happening anytime soon for me........
 
  Check back next week see if I made it under 2 and half hours, died along the route, or crawled across the finish to a glass of cold beer.
 

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