So the early morning hour of race day that would be 5:30 not my favorite time to jump out of bed
to get ready for a long ass run,
I woke up had a couple of pieces of toast with Peanut butter and some juice. I stretched at home to get the legs at least a head start on the shock I was about to throw them into.
We got to downtown St Charles. The we in this story would be My wife, Two daughters and my Sister in Law, they were going on a nice 5k walk while I was about to come face to face with this dumb idea of a half marathon.
First stop (and those of you who are squeamish or do not like the poop talk skip to the next paragraph now, after the two Porta potty pics and the words Safe NOW)
I waited in the long lines for the row of Porta pottys’s not my favorite place to drop my morning poop, even more so since I did not bring my nice wet wipes.
I waited in a line of mostly women and a few guys. I could have just as easily went to the tent labeled Men’s bathroom. Which consisted of urinals and no waiting. Since I was in line all knew I had to drop the brown shark. So the plus side as I approached the green closet of shit. All ladies in front of me, should be sprinkler dick free, or no piss all over the seats. The down side and the reality as I went in, and I will spare you the details of my trails here, when I exited, the poor woman who entered may have passed the hell out.
I woke up had a couple of pieces of toast with Peanut butter and some juice. I stretched at home to get the legs at least a head start on the shock I was about to throw them into.
We got to downtown St Charles. The we in this story would be My wife, Two daughters and my Sister in Law, they were going on a nice 5k walk while I was about to come face to face with this dumb idea of a half marathon.
First stop (and those of you who are squeamish or do not like the poop talk skip to the next paragraph now, after the two Porta potty pics and the words Safe NOW)
I waited in the long lines for the row of Porta pottys’s not my favorite place to drop my morning poop, even more so since I did not bring my nice wet wipes.
I waited in a line of mostly women and a few guys. I could have just as easily went to the tent labeled Men’s bathroom. Which consisted of urinals and no waiting. Since I was in line all knew I had to drop the brown shark. So the plus side as I approached the green closet of shit. All ladies in front of me, should be sprinkler dick free, or no piss all over the seats. The down side and the reality as I went in, and I will spare you the details of my trails here, when I exited, the poor woman who entered may have passed the hell out.
Anyway now that my system was clear and I felt a bit better
I went to the start finish after my family saw me off. I was stuck in the 14
minute milers section as it was too crowded to get my ass up to the 10-11
Minute section.
As I started the race I felt pretty good, breathing was steady, legs were working well, and the only problem was taking the sweatshirt I had and tossing it on the sidewalk. I passed a lot of people so I was feeling pretty good about myself. Made my first stop at the 2.5 mark grabbing a glass of water downing it and moving on. My goal was to get to the ten mile mark without walking a great deal (the water I don’t count because I really did not need a terrorist baptism at that moment and had to walk to drink.) I was really feeling pretty good, it was not a hot day and it was overcast (for most of the race) so the sun and heat never took a toll on me, it was all the run.
I got to about the eight mile mark, no I did not see Eminem out there. And I looked at my heart rate monitor and it went wacky, I was approaching a point with both water and that strange runners gel which I would never eat on a normal day, while not running a half marathon (or drink I guess, not sure it is a sludge like I have never had) So decided to fix the heart rate monitor while getting some fluids into my system. After adjusting the chest strap (which looked like I was adjusting a bra or a Bro (NO MANZIERE!) drinking my two cups of water and squeezing the gel into my mouth. I started my run again, so I kind of came up a little short on the run till mile ten, but I did not dwell on it as I still had a good 4-5 mile run left on the day.
That actually is me, I know you were expecting someone more handsome
As I started the race I felt pretty good, breathing was steady, legs were working well, and the only problem was taking the sweatshirt I had and tossing it on the sidewalk. I passed a lot of people so I was feeling pretty good about myself. Made my first stop at the 2.5 mark grabbing a glass of water downing it and moving on. My goal was to get to the ten mile mark without walking a great deal (the water I don’t count because I really did not need a terrorist baptism at that moment and had to walk to drink.) I was really feeling pretty good, it was not a hot day and it was overcast (for most of the race) so the sun and heat never took a toll on me, it was all the run.
I got to about the eight mile mark, no I did not see Eminem out there. And I looked at my heart rate monitor and it went wacky, I was approaching a point with both water and that strange runners gel which I would never eat on a normal day, while not running a half marathon (or drink I guess, not sure it is a sludge like I have never had) So decided to fix the heart rate monitor while getting some fluids into my system. After adjusting the chest strap (which looked like I was adjusting a bra or a Bro (NO MANZIERE!) drinking my two cups of water and squeezing the gel into my mouth. I started my run again, so I kind of came up a little short on the run till mile ten, but I did not dwell on it as I still had a good 4-5 mile run left on the day.
I got going and going was a little slower pace as my body
started to say, “Hey dickbag what are we doing here?” Also saw a few great
signs along the course the best was a woman holding a sign and cheering, the
sign read “You are doing great! It is all downhill from here!” then a man next
to her had a sign with a big arrow pointing to the woman that said SHE IS A
LIAR…..He was right. I got to the ten
mile mark and it was a bastard of a hill. Not extremely steep but long. I put
my head down and started to climb it. Now the pain kicked in, it was harder to
raise those legs, the breathing was a bit heavier, and I did what I never do
while running I looked up the fucking hill.
I was screwed! Only halfway I had
to now walk the rest of the hill. I was really feeling the fatigue in every
part of my body, but I could deal with that, it was the mental side I was
trying to clear. While running I always need to be out of my own head and forget
about what I am doing. So as I reached
the top of the hill I started running again. The push was on I had gone farther
in a run than I had ever gone before. The 11 mile mark came and went and then I
started a walk/run movement to get my ass to the damn finish line.
As I
approached the last mile marker I got a energy burst knowing this would all be
over soon and also wishing I could just jump on my bike to finish it. I did
come across another great sign that a little boy was holding it said touch here
for power and it had a little POW spot…I ask him and his mom if I could just
hug the sign the rest of the way…They laughed but did not give me the sign…..
It might as well of looked like this, because that is what it felt like....
One more twenty second walk and I put my head down and went
for the finish. I came around the corner and could see the finish line, but a
line that never seemed so far away.
As I got even closer every part of me wanted this race to be
over with. My body was now telling me, “Hey fucker! You are in for some pain
the next 48 hours” I saw my wife and kids cheering me on and it was just enough
to give me that extra push I finished collected my medal (now normally I am of
the opinion that if you do not win something, you should not get a medal, but
in this case it is a race against yourself and although I got the same medal as
the first place finisher, they also got cash…So I will take it!
Not me but that is what I felt like
My Oldest Daughter and me
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