A 50/50 Story is based on true events but only half true and
the half that is true is 50 percent over-exaggerated and probably untrue as well…All
in All this is a fictional story based on a possible true event. But at least
it may be entertaining…….
I woke up on a beautiful Saturday morning, now getting out of bed after a long week at 41 is a bit different than jumping out of bed in my early 20's even after an all night drinking binge or whatever else may have been going on back then. The muscles ache the bones creek, but the heart is still the same, as a saying I have heard used to go "Pain is a long way from your heart."
With no original
plans on biking, but the sun shining and the temperatures up, I figured this may be a chance for me to get my butt back on
the saddle again. Once the blurriness was wiped from my eyes the 16 month old
was taken care of by my wonderful wife and all my bike gear was stacked away in
the car I was off to the park.
Still a cool day but so much more comfortable than the two
weeks of 20 and 30 degree weather the proceeded it, I was a bit chilly at first
jumping onto my bike, with the wind in my face, but as I peddled away the
warmth came back into my body. As I crossed the cement path to make my way over
to the mountain bike trail I noticed the muddy surroundings in the woods on the
way. In the back of my mind I thought “Oh shit!” and the wind was let out of my
sails. But I was here, I was going to at least take a look.
I arrived at the trail and it looked okay to begin with, so I
jumped on the path. Over a few hills and into the woods it all began. My legs
pumped through the ground as it became softer and softer, almost like it was
transforming into some wild beast wanting to drag my old ass under the
ground.
It was a slow a battle to not
only just finish the loop but to stay on the bike and fight back against the
trail that was now a living slippery, and sticky monster in itself.
I would plug away on the straight lines with my tired out of
shape from the winter legs, avoiding the path when I could to stay on dryer
ground. Then I would go from the sticky trail that was trying to consume my
tires, to the slick turns that seemed to want to send me off into the woods as
I took the corner.
In my mind I kept thinking I only have a little ways to go,
as mud kicked up into every crevice on the bike and up my back to make it
appear as though I may have had an accident or butt explosion that gravity had
no effect on.
I came over a hill and gained the speed usually needed to
climb the next, but due to the shoddy cornering I slipped a bit lost some
valuable speed and had to try and crank up the steep incline.
As I was reaching
the top it was as if everything slowed to a slow motion crawl. I could see the
end if I could just get over the final hump, I would again be going downhill
and off to the final leg of this mud caked journey. But the hill was fighting
back, and decided to only tease me as I approached the escape route my back
wheel slipped and traction was torn out from underneath my bike. I could feel
or almost hear the muddy monster laughing at me as if to say “You may have
almost gotten away with your ride Old man, but I was going to have the final
say in it all.”
All I could say was “SHIT!” as my foot came off the pedal to
try and grab some slippery ground and stop any momentum back toward the bottom
of this hill (or mud slide). It kind of felt like this,
As my foot made contact the hill still had other
plans for me, the bike started its downward decent to the ground and my foot
was pulled backward in the mud. I caught it all in the very last second, but
felt pretty stupid just trying to stand up without falling into the mud. If
anyone else was dumb enough to be riding they may have laughed at the comedy
act that probably only lasted a few seconds but felt like a long time. The other riders if out there were probably already swallowed by the Mud Beast....
Once under control I walked my bike (along the grass) to the
top got back on and finished this horrendous muddy journey back to the cement
trail.
I got off my bike cleaned the mud off my water bottle and
sucked down as much as I could. I cleaned off some mud pies from various
sections off my bike and my legs and took a quick look back at the woods I knew
I would be riding again, a tamer more manageable trail once the sun settled the
Mud beast. I would be back to kick its ass. Hopefully no one else decided to try and tame the monster on this day....Or
But for that moment I swear I could hear the
trail itself laughing out loud at the old man and the bike. Saying, "No matter how dry I get I will be waiting!!!"
